The moment when you learn your wife has cancer gets imprinted on your brain in a hurry.

At least for me, it did.

That happened back in February of this year.  I haven’t talked about it on the blog yet for several reasons including that my wife is much more private online than I am.

But she suggested that I talk about it publicly on the blog now, if only to let others to know that they are not alone in having cancer affect them or a family member.  And to raise awareness of this very common type of cancer.

You see, my wife is young — if you still count the early 40s as young — with no history of colorectal cancer in the family.  So, when she was diagnosed, it came as a shock to her. And our entire family.

As the much-used phrase goes, life hasn’t been the same since then.

Getting diagnosed with cancer is both scary and frustrating.  Scary for the obvious reasons, but also frustrating, because medicine moves at its own pace. Doctors are careful and cautious, making sure to get the treatment plan right.  And treatments typically take many months.

It’s also both physically and mentally exhausting not only to the person who is diagnosed, but to the entire family.

My wife’s cancer wasn’t caught early, but the doctors told us that they believed they didn’t catch it too late either.  However, they outlined a long and fairly new treatment protocol that we have been living with ever since the diagnosis.

We have been fortunate to work with local doctors at Hartford Hospital (a terrific client of my firm as it turns out) and super specialists in New York at Memorial Sloan Kettering.  She underwent four grueling months of chemotherapy earlier this year followed by nearly 2 more months of chemo with radiation.

That, however, was just the warm up.

Early this month, she underwent a planned 15-hour complex surgery with three surgical teams at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center.  Her recovery from such a major surgery has been slow, but steady.  She finally returned home in the last few days for further rest and recovery.  The care we received at MSKCC was outstanding.

And yet, despite the difficult nature of the surgery, we are thankful for the news we recently received: After several more weeks of recovery, the doctors have given her (and us — since cancer really is a “family” disease, as the doctors have reminded us time and again) a very good prognosis going forward.

With Thanksgiving upon us, we certainly have a lot to be thankful for.

Careful readers might notice a lot more posts from my colleagues here at Shipman & Goodwin this year. That’s not an accident. My colleagues have been so supportive in both substantive work and for the blog.  I’m so thankful for their support.

I’m also thankful for the support of countless others who have brought meals to our house, or helped in other ways.  And thankful for the world-class care my wife has been receiving both here in Connecticut and in New York.

I’m thankful as well to have this bully pulpit.  I hope to use it in an upcoming post or two to talk about the employment law issues related to this topic from a more personal experience.

But my wife didn’t want this post to be about her.

As I said at the top, we wanted to raise awareness of the issue.  Colorectal cancer is the second leading cause of cancer deaths in the United States.  Over 135,000 people will be diagnosed with colorectal cancer this year alone.

Yet, compared with other types of cancer, it receives less publicity. I won’t debate the causes here, but it’s time we recognize how serious this disease is here in the United States.

So here are three things you can do right now.

First, get screened for colorectal cancer.  Make your appointment today if necessary.  From a colonoscopy to at home tests, screening remains the single best way to beat this disease. When caught early, the survival rate is significantly higher.  And you’re never too young to start thinking about it.  Colonoscopies are quick and painless.  If Katie Couric can do it, so can you.

And trust me, colonoscopies are a lot easier than dealing with months of chemotherapy.

Second, follow one of the many groups focused on this issue such as the Colon Cancer Alliance.  Take the time to understand this issue.  And the spread to word to others.  And please consider donating to them as well.  There may not be an ice bucket challenge associated with it, but you’re over 25 times more likely to get diagnosed with colorectal cancer as you are to be diagnosed with ALS.

Third, and here is the lawyer in me speaking, consider updating your will, health care proxy, and other estate planning documents — particularly if you’re otherwise healthy. You don’t want to have to worry about them when you get diagnosed with a life-threatening illness.  My firm does this work, but there are many others who provide this service as well. And, at a minimum, consider one of the self-help legal sites to get the basics done if you don’t think you can afford to pay an attorney.

My posts here will remain somewhat sporadic for a while as I balance being a caregiver with work obligations as well.  But if this post causes just one of you to take the action steps outlined above, I’ll know that we can make something positive happen from such a tough diagnosis.

And if we can make something good happen from this post, I will be thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

  • I’m so sorry to hear this has hit your wife, but glad she’s doing well. Colo-rectal cancer runs in my family, so I get to have a colonoscopy every 5 years for the rest of my life.

    Thanks for sharing and best wishes!

  • InsiderBlog

    Dan, I just saw this – I am so sorry, but very relieved to hear that the prognosis is good and that your wife will get to be home with you for Thanksgiving. Take care, Robin Shea

  • I wish the best for your wife and family. It sounds like you and she have the battle well in hand!

  • louise galvin

    Dan, my heart goes out to you and your family, and I am happy to know that your wife is doing so well. I lost a dear brother to this disease when he was 45, almost 10 years ago, way too young. I am thankful that you have such good news, and will keep you all in my prayers,
    Louise

  • Dan: What a brave post, combining the wise counsel of an experienced lawyer and the heartfelt emotion of a dedicated husband! Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Happy Thanksgiving. Eric